


Just Lost Souls Anyway

by ColoredGayngels



Series: the price we pay [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, M/M, Overdose, Panic Attacks, Read the warnings!, Suicide Attempt, drug overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 18:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18299636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColoredGayngels/pseuds/ColoredGayngels
Summary: It’s been over a year since Jesse was picked up by Gabe. He shouldn’t feel like this anymore. He shouldn’t feel like he’s trapped, like his world is crashing down around him, like he has no escape. He shouldn’t feel like his home is caving in on him, like he could be kicked out any second. His hands are shaking, chest tight, panic impending.





	Just Lost Souls Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Bingo Square: Overdose  
> Anonymous asked: If you’re looking for more requests for bad things happen bingo, I’d love to see overdose with whatever pairing you want. The choking fic was amazing, love your writing!
> 
> ***This is, in part, a bit of a vent fic. Jesse's specific feelings and urges are based off my own from less than 48 hours ago. If you ever, EVER feel like this, please, seek help.  
> Title from Overdose by Armors

The feeling crashes into him without warning, as though someone’s punched him in the sternum.

It’s been over a year since Jesse was picked up by Gabe. He shouldn’t feel like this anymore. He shouldn’t feel like he’s trapped, like his world is crashing down around him, like he has no escape. He shouldn’t feel like his home is caving in on him, like he could be kicked out any second. His hands are shaking, chest tight, panic impending. 

Jesse mumbles an excuse to the people he’s talking to and all but runs back to his room. He locks the door as soon as it shuts behind him, doesn’t bother turning the lights on. Jesse falls to his knees next to his bed, fighting to catch his breath. He presses his back against the bedside table, dropping onto his ass and dragging his legs up to hang his head between them. Here, now, in the dark of his standard-issue overwatch suite, he feels more trapped than he did out in the hall. He forces his head up, slamming it back against the table, and there’s a clatter as his pill bottles are knocked to the floor.

They look so, so tempting - anxiety medication that Angela had prescribed him, to help with everything left over in his fucked up head from Deadlock. Jesse squeezes his eyes shut, shakes his head in a vain attempt to clear it. Reaching for his medication is a bad idea. Every part of his being tells him to do it, to take as many as he can until he’s calm again, until he can fall asleep. 

The orange glow of the sunset through his window highlights the orange of the bottle. They’re calling his name, something in his chest pulling him closer. Before he can stop himself, the bottle is in his hand, lid cracked open and his hand full of pills. He pops the handfull, flinging his free hand up to find something to wash it down. He comes back with a half-empty bottle of stolen whiskey, chugs the whole thing in one go. 

Jesse knocks the empty bottles aside, slumping down against the table. It only takes minutes for his brain to go fuzzy, all of the panic dissipating and calm overtaking him. His eyes slip shut as he mellows out, and he’s asleep in no time at all.

~~~

Jack peers over his tablet to watch Gabe pace. He’d been going at it for about twenty minutes, and it was driving Jack insane. “Come to bed, Gabe. He’ll get here when he gets here. He’s a big boy.”

Gabe freezes in his tracks, whipping his head around to look at Jack. “He should’ve been here two hours ago.” There’s a fire in Gabe’s eyes that Jack knows won’t go out until his boy is in his arms.

Jack sighs, setting down his tablet. “Alright. Let’s go find him.”

Gabriel’s out the door in an instant. 

~~~

Gabe pounds on Jesse’s door when it doesn’t open right away. “McCree, open this god damn door right now! That’s an order!” 

There’s no answer. He pounds a few more times, and when there’s still no reply, he inputs his manual override. The door slides open, revealing the dark room beyond. “McCree?” A few cautious steps inside reveal an empty bed. Gabe can’t make out much in the dark, but the light from the hallway illuminates a small part of the room. 

Gabriel looks where the light falls, and his heart sinks through the floor. Crumpled on the floor is his Jesse, an empty whiskey bottle (where the hell did he get that?) next to an empty pill bottle (who the hell gave him  _ those _ ?) off to the side, and it doesn’t take long to figure out what happened. He drops next to Jesse, tapping his cheek a few times. 

“C’mon, Jessito. You gotta wake up, boy.” He keeps tapping and talking until Jesse convulses a little. Instead of waking up, however, he starts vomiting. Gabe freezes, watching Jesse shake in his unconsciousness. Jesse’s eyes crack open a bit when he starts to choke, and Gabe’s instincts kick in, rolling the boy to his side. 

Gabe doesn’t hear Jack come in, doesn’t even notice Jack until he scoops up Jesse’s limp body when he stops throwing up. Gabe starts to protest, but Jack cuts him off with a raise of the hand under Jesse’s legs.

“I’m taking him to Angela.”

~~~

Jesse wakes up to the worst stomach ache of his life. His vision is kind of fuzzy, and after what feels like forever, it doesn’t seem to be getting better. He looks around, trying to figure out where he is. Mostly, he can make out white, with a few spots that he can’t see clearly. At his side, a black lump is laying on his bed, and another lighter lump is a bit farther away. It takes longer than it should to figure out that the black lump is Gabriel.

He tries to say Gabe’s name, but all that comes out is a broken squeak accompanied by a sharp pain. He swallows a few times, forcing himself not to cry from it, before trying again. “Gabe?”

Gabe groans, shifting to sit up. “You finally awake, Jess?”

Jesse nods. “Think so.” Every word burns. “Water?”

“Of course.” Gabe does… something, Jesse can’t really see it, but not long after a light figure comes into the room. 

“Jesse,” the figure greets, and he recognizes the voice as Angela.   


“Hey there,” Jesse croaks. Angela’s posture changes to suggest she isn’t happy.

“Do not try to speak right now.” She hands something to Gabriel, and he holds it up to Jesse’s lips. “Drink.”

Jesse takes a few sips before Gabe pulls it away. Jesse groans, wanting more.

“You remember what happened?” Gabe asks.

Jesse thinks of the last thing he remembers - the panic attack, escaping to his room, his meds-

His meds.

“Yeah.” Jesse looks away from Gabe. “M’sorry.”

Gabe takes one of Jesse’s and squeezes it lightly. “You could’ve died, Jesse.”

“In fact,” Angela adds, “you’re very lucky that you did not.” She fusses around him for a few minutes, taking vitals and making sure he’s holding down the water okay. “You will be cleared for biotic treatment in one hour. Take this time to rest.”

Gabe helps him drink some more water, and after a little bit, his vision starts clearing up. The worry lines on Gabe’s face are deeper than Jesse’s seen them. “Papi-”

“Don’t you  _ papi _ me. You almost  _ died _ .”

Jesse drops his head. “I wasn’t tryin’ to. Jus’ wanted the noise outta my head.”

Gabe gently grabs his chin and pulls his head back up. “That doesn’t mean you take a whole bottle of whatever.” He smooths his thumb over Jesse’s cheek. “You know you’re gonna have to see the shrink now, right?”

“Yeah.” Gabe’s hand goes back to holding his, and Jesse takes a clear look at his surroundings, eyes landing on Jack in the chair in the corner. “You’re here,” he says, surprised.

“‘Course I’m here. One of my men landed himself in the medbay.”

Jesse holds up his free hand, shaking wildly, only for a second before the pain makes him drop it. “C’mere.”

Jack moves his chair to the bedside next to Gabe’s and takes Jesse’s other hand.

“M’really sorry.”

Jack sighs. “We know, Jesse. We’re just glad you’re here.”

It’s not long before Angela comes to administer the biotics, shooing the commanders out of the room. Jesse’s patched up within the hour, still a bit shaky on his feet when she’s done.

He meets Gabe and Jack in the waiting area, Gabe wearing a hole in the floor with his pacing. Jesse spreads his arms when Angela lets him go. “See, I’m just peachy, all fixed up and rarin’ to go.” He tries to take a step forward, but loses his balance. Gabe catches him before he can go far.

“Let’s get you to bed,  _ vaquero _ . You still gotta rest.”

Jesse pouts the whole way back to their room.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on:  
> [tumblr](https://spriitepepsii.tumblr.com)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/spriitepepsii)


End file.
